These 3 words are killing your emails đ¨
If âHope youâre wellâ is your go-to, brace yourself
Iâve been guilty of this more times than I can count. You probably have too.
For years, every email I sent kicked off with âHope youâre wellâ or a variation of it.
Itâs what you do when you want to sound polite, or when your brain blanks and you need a non-committal opener.
But since writing about Kelly Lundbergâs Crocs rule and also her biggest ick in business communication, Iâve forced myself to drop the habit.
Hereâs what Iâve learned: nobody remembers you for wishing them well.
Itâs not just me saying this. Three of the sharpest authors on business communication â Lorraine K. Lee (Unforgettable Presence), Minda Zetlin (Career Self-Care), and Kelly Lundberg (Deseed The Lemon) â all agree.
Hereâs what they really think about âHope youâre well,â and what you should write instead if you want replies. đđť
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Why âhope youâre wellâ lands with a thud
âIf your opener could be copied and pasted into 100 other emails without changing anything, itâs probably too generic.â
Thereâs no real connection, itâs autopilot. The moment you default to âHope youâre well,â youâre signalling that this message could be from anyone or everyone.
Minda Zetlin calls it âempty enthusiasm.â And itâs not just boring, itâs forgettable. If you havenât met the person before, it sounds robotic. If you have, itâs lazy.
The power of a first impression (and why style matters)
First impressions arenât just about how you look. Kelly Lundberg is all about presence, whether itâs in a boardroom or a quick intro email:
âYou canât build rapport by going, âHi, I hope youâre well.ââ
Thatâs not memorable. Thatâs small talk that goes nowhere. Plus, ChatGPT loves to add it to your email drafts too.
If you want to stand out, especially when everyoneâs fighting to be noticed, ditch the filler and give the other person something real to react to.
How to actually start an email (and get a reply)
Lorraine K. Leeâs advice is simple: make your opener human, specific, and intentional.
If youâve met before, use it. If you havenât, find something about them worth referencing.
âA strong opener feels human, specific, and intentional.â
Practical swaps:
âGreat chatting at [event].â
âSaw your post on [topic], it really stuck with me.â
âCongrats on [recent achievement]. Would love to hear more about it.â
If thereâs nothing personal, just get to the point. Minda Zetlin says most people, like Mark Cuban, give your email two seconds max before binning it. She writes:
âThereâs something to be said for getting straight to the point. I donât mind people jumping right to whatever it is they want.â
If itâs a pitch, just say it. If youâre following up, reference the last thing you talked about. Donât waste words.
Stop sounding like a robot (and why AI canât fake rapport)
Kelly again:
âYouâve got to say something that opens a real conversation, not autopilot small talk.â
She hates âI hope youâre wellâ so much itâs her top âickâ in business communication. The moment she sees it, she switches off.
The secret to standing out? Make the other person feel seen. Reference their work, ask a real question, or comment on something recent.
The worst email openers, and what works instead
Donât use:
âHope youâre wellâ
âHappy Monday!â
âIâve got a quick favourâ
âI hope your week is off to a great startâ
Anything that feels copy-paste
Try:
âJust read your latest piece on [topic], loved the section on [detail].â
âFollowing up on our call last week, had a thought about [topic].â
âSaw your LinkedIn update, congrats on the move!â
Bonus: Stop saying âjust following upâ (and other limp openers)
Want to sound smaller than you are? Start your message with âjustâŚâ
Both Alex Hormozi ($100M Offers) and Justin Moore (Sponsor Magnet) call this out as one of the fastest ways to sound like youâre begging for permission: âjust checking in,â âjust wanted to see,â âjust following up.â
These are energy-draining, credibility-killing phrases that get you ignored. If your opener can be deleted and your point still stands, you didnât need it.
Make your ask, make your point, and do it with energy. People donât respond to âjust,â they respond to clarity and conviction.
Your challenge is to bin the bland
Most emails vanish into the void because they sound like everyone else. Make yours the one that cuts through. Drop the autopilot.
Next time your fingers hover over âHope youâre well,â hit backspace and write something only you could say. The more specific and human, the better. See how many more doors open.
More email wisdom from Millennial Masters:
Iâve definitely been doing that, thanks for sharing!
On a separate note, do you think this only applies among peers? Iâve noticed that when someone more senior uses those kinds of openings, they actually come across as more thoughtful or even appreciated.
My boss does it often, and I find it makes me feel more comfortable and heard.
Thanks Daniel, good advice! What are your thoughts on how to finish emails? This is so me:
Best regards,
Jens