These 3 words are killing your emails 📨
If “Hope you’re well” is your go-to, brace yourself
I’ve been guilty of this more times than I can count. You probably have too.
For years, every email I sent kicked off with “Hope you’re well” or a variation of it.
It’s what you do when you want to sound polite, or when your brain blanks and you need a non-committal opener.
But since writing about Kelly Lundberg’s Crocs rule and also her biggest ick in business communication, I’ve forced myself to drop the habit.
Here’s what I’ve learned: nobody remembers you for wishing them well.
It’s not just me saying this. Three of the sharpest authors on business communication — Lorraine K. Lee (Unforgettable Presence), Minda Zetlin (Career Self-Care), and Kelly Lundberg (Deseed The Lemon) — all agree.
Here’s what they really think about “Hope you’re well,” and what you should write instead if you want replies. 👇🏻
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Why “hope you’re well” lands with a thud
“If your opener could be copied and pasted into 100 other emails without changing anything, it’s probably too generic.”
There’s no real connection, it’s autopilot. The moment you default to “Hope you’re well,” you’re signalling that this message could be from anyone or everyone.
Minda Zetlin calls it “empty enthusiasm.” And it’s not just boring, it’s forgettable. If you haven’t met the person before, it sounds robotic. If you have, it’s lazy.
The power of a first impression (and why style matters)
First impressions aren’t just about how you look. Kelly Lundberg is all about presence, whether it’s in a boardroom or a quick intro email:
“You can’t build rapport by going, ‘Hi, I hope you’re well.’”
That’s not memorable. That’s small talk that goes nowhere. Plus, ChatGPT loves to add it to your email drafts too.
If you want to stand out, especially when everyone’s fighting to be noticed, ditch the filler and give the other person something real to react to.
How to actually start an email (and get a reply)
Lorraine K. Lee’s advice is simple: make your opener human, specific, and intentional.
If you’ve met before, use it. If you haven’t, find something about them worth referencing.
“A strong opener feels human, specific, and intentional.”
Practical swaps:
“Great chatting at [event].”
“Saw your post on [topic], it really stuck with me.”
“Congrats on [recent achievement]. Would love to hear more about it.”
If there’s nothing personal, just get to the point. Minda Zetlin says most people, like Mark Cuban, give your email two seconds max before binning it. She writes:
“There’s something to be said for getting straight to the point. I don’t mind people jumping right to whatever it is they want.”
If it’s a pitch, just say it. If you’re following up, reference the last thing you talked about. Don’t waste words.
Stop sounding like a robot (and why AI can’t fake rapport)
Kelly again:
“You’ve got to say something that opens a real conversation, not autopilot small talk.”
She hates “I hope you’re well” so much it’s her top ‘ick’ in business communication. The moment she sees it, she switches off.
The secret to standing out? Make the other person feel seen. Reference their work, ask a real question, or comment on something recent.
The worst email openers, and what works instead
Don’t use:
“Hope you’re well”
“Happy Monday!”
“I’ve got a quick favour”
“I hope your week is off to a great start”
Anything that feels copy-paste
Try:
“Just read your latest piece on [topic], loved the section on [detail].”
“Following up on our call last week, had a thought about [topic].”
“Saw your LinkedIn update, congrats on the move!”
Bonus: Stop saying “just following up” (and other limp openers)
Want to sound smaller than you are? Start your message with “just…”
Both Alex Hormozi ($100M Offers) and Justin Moore (Sponsor Magnet) call this out as one of the fastest ways to sound like you’re begging for permission: “just checking in,” “just wanted to see,” “just following up.”
These are energy-draining, credibility-killing phrases that get you ignored. If your opener can be deleted and your point still stands, you didn’t need it.
Make your ask, make your point, and do it with energy. People don’t respond to “just,” they respond to clarity and conviction.
Your challenge is to bin the bland
Most emails vanish into the void because they sound like everyone else. Make yours the one that cuts through. Drop the autopilot.
Next time your fingers hover over “Hope you’re well,” hit backspace and write something only you could say. The more specific and human, the better. See how many more doors open.
More email wisdom from Millennial Masters:
I’ve definitely been doing that, thanks for sharing!
On a separate note, do you think this only applies among peers? I’ve noticed that when someone more senior uses those kinds of openings, they actually come across as more thoughtful or even appreciated.
My boss does it often, and I find it makes me feel more comfortable and heard.
Thanks Daniel, good advice! What are your thoughts on how to finish emails? This is so me:
Best regards,
Jens