I absolutely love this post! I can completely identify with this experience, and will pass this along to
everyone I know who is in a supervisory or management position. One of the main reasons why we need union representation in labor, is because we have so little of this common sense type of strategy.
“Teamwork” is the key for success for both workers and employers.
It’s one compliment to enjoy something. And a whole other level of praise to share it with those around you. I’m honored this resonated with you :)
Great parallel on union representation. Yes. We need people whose job it is to advocate for the working folks. It’s a critical function and I think will only become more important in the years to come.
EQ is the way out, here. We’ll get there. One leader at a time.
Send those leaders me and Daniel’s way. We’re here for y’all.
We had a recent management mixup at my job, and a woman has taken over a higher management position. It’s become obvious that she is trying to change the negative energy, that has become the norm for the last few years there. Most of the negative management team are still working there but have been reshuffled so we aren’t hopeful that the new woman is going to make a big difference.
Loved this piece! You really capture why emotional intelligence isn’t just a soft skill – it’s the backbone of how leaders make decisions, handle pressure, and shape their teams. The examples you share make it painfully clear how much goes wrong when leaders miss the human side of leadership. This is a must-read reminder that understanding yourself is the first step to leading others well.
Gannon! I'm glad this resonated with you and dismayed that you're going through this situation. Loss of trust bleeds the lines of stability and makes us wonder if we're the problem, if we're safe, and all sorts of other un-true self reflections.
I can see from your feed you have extremely high intelligence and domain expertise. And, are writing from a position of self-authentic authority. Reach out in my DMs if I can be of any support. Either way, rest assured I believe your gut feelings and I have your back in ensuring your personal health and sanctity.
Thanks for the offer Dan. I’ll absolutely keep you in mind. I’ve been making a conscious effort to follow my gut more and it has been working well. Take care!
This was a great read. I've had experiences over the years, positive and negative, that helped shape how I show up now. I'm constantly trying to improve awareness of my own actions and skills, and to be a better leader. This all resonated for me today and reminded me why it's so important to tune into emotional intelligence.
I think the world needs more people like you who are self reflective, create high trust environments, and use your own experiences and reminders to continue to strive to show up better every day. You're clearly a leader who's done the hard self-work.
I would be very curious to know what actions you take to be self-aware and what skills you use to develop the environments you lead in. Cheers, let's rock the week.
Thanks for sharing this, Jen. That’s probably why this topic matters so much.
Everyone brings their own history into how they lead, and the more aware you are of that, the less likely you are to pass the worst of it on without noticing.
I agree @John Brewton ! I think of it like an Oedipus Rex scenario - The very actions we take to avoid a situation of low trust can take us there eventually.
There’s some level of ‘letting go’ and meta cognition involved in being able to steer towards a environment where trust grows organically. Pausing, reflecting, intentionally showing up with our best EQ skills every day…, these are all part and parcel of slowly creating such an environment.
That’s part of what makes it harder to spot in yourself. Very few leaders are trying to create that kind of team. It usually happens in the smaller reactions they stop noticing.
There’s an important distinction to be mage here, there’s trust -is it sake to speak up -psychological safety. And the trustworthiness of the leader. It’s always best to be clear about which you are speaking.
I would completely agree that you can't have one without the other over time. A leaders who creates a psychologically unsafe environment will not be seen as a trustworthy person. Similarly, a low trust leader in a high psychologically safe environment will erode that safety over time due to their actions.
I think we can agree "As the ruler, so the people." Trust is a broad term and really we mean both.
Love the insight about note taking - I have fallen off the habit of note taking recently and I think you are right. It adds an artificial 5dec delay into one’s response.
I’d add however that trust builds around a leaders ability to make themselves smaller in service of the team / objective. And by smaller I mean prioritise team / objective vs personal gain. That is a predictable and repeatable way of working that provides stability and boosts trust
Amen Daphne. I purposefully buy overpriced pens and notebooks so I enjoy taking notes more. Lately I've been on a pencil kick. Did you know they make mechanical pencils that automatically rotate the lead so you always get a clean line? We're int he future and the future is now. I usually use AI to put my notes into a digital vault. Claude + Obsidian. This makes everything searchable and index-able so I get more value than just the pause and just the act of taking the note itself.
Also, great addition. We talk about trust being top down. And that's true if we follow the lines of the traditional org chart. But leadership is bottom up. We're at the bottom. Serving our people who serve the mission. We're here for them, not the other way around. And that re-frame changes everything about what the world has taught us about what it means to be a leader. Say it louder for the people in the back, Daphne! :)
The note-taking detail is exactly the kind of small habit that separates good advice from good practice, and a 2025 report finding that 1 in 4 employees still don't feel psychologically safe at work suggests most teams are still operating in that constant low-level edit mode you describe. People take their cues from the last time someone got punished for raising a problem: the intranet values poster rarely comes into it. What's the toughest default reaction you've personally had to work on?
I absolutely love this post! I can completely identify with this experience, and will pass this along to
everyone I know who is in a supervisory or management position. One of the main reasons why we need union representation in labor, is because we have so little of this common sense type of strategy.
“Teamwork” is the key for success for both workers and employers.
👏 👏 👍 👍
Eagle! 🦅
It’s one compliment to enjoy something. And a whole other level of praise to share it with those around you. I’m honored this resonated with you :)
Great parallel on union representation. Yes. We need people whose job it is to advocate for the working folks. It’s a critical function and I think will only become more important in the years to come.
EQ is the way out, here. We’ll get there. One leader at a time.
Send those leaders me and Daniel’s way. We’re here for y’all.
Thanks Dan!
I look forward to learning more from you both.
We had a recent management mixup at my job, and a woman has taken over a higher management position. It’s become obvious that she is trying to change the negative energy, that has become the norm for the last few years there. Most of the negative management team are still working there but have been reshuffled so we aren’t hopeful that the new woman is going to make a big difference.
Only time will tell….
Loved this piece! You really capture why emotional intelligence isn’t just a soft skill – it’s the backbone of how leaders make decisions, handle pressure, and shape their teams. The examples you share make it painfully clear how much goes wrong when leaders miss the human side of leadership. This is a must-read reminder that understanding yourself is the first step to leading others well.
I think we’ve all been in one or two of these situations.
And when you’ve have a boss who you do trust it becomes black and white how critical trust is in the workplace.
“must-read” is high praise and I’m honored, Mila :) I am so glad you liked it.
I want a future where schools teach emotional intelligence. until then it’s up to us! Cheers, -d.
This article hits a little too close to home. I feel like I’m losing some of my trust in certain people on my ELT as of late.
Gannon! I'm glad this resonated with you and dismayed that you're going through this situation. Loss of trust bleeds the lines of stability and makes us wonder if we're the problem, if we're safe, and all sorts of other un-true self reflections.
I can see from your feed you have extremely high intelligence and domain expertise. And, are writing from a position of self-authentic authority. Reach out in my DMs if I can be of any support. Either way, rest assured I believe your gut feelings and I have your back in ensuring your personal health and sanctity.
Good luck - you are not alone.
Thanks for the offer Dan. I’ll absolutely keep you in mind. I’ve been making a conscious effort to follow my gut more and it has been working well. Take care!
Lo and behold! Pulled from the archives, the power of gut instinct in business...
🔗 https://millennialmasters.net/p/gut-instinct-business
Keep on Keeping on Gannon! :) I trust your gut, too.
This was a great read. I've had experiences over the years, positive and negative, that helped shape how I show up now. I'm constantly trying to improve awareness of my own actions and skills, and to be a better leader. This all resonated for me today and reminded me why it's so important to tune into emotional intelligence.
Jen! Wonderful that this read struck a chord.
I think the world needs more people like you who are self reflective, create high trust environments, and use your own experiences and reminders to continue to strive to show up better every day. You're clearly a leader who's done the hard self-work.
I would be very curious to know what actions you take to be self-aware and what skills you use to develop the environments you lead in. Cheers, let's rock the week.
Thanks for sharing this, Jen. That’s probably why this topic matters so much.
Everyone brings their own history into how they lead, and the more aware you are of that, the less likely you are to pass the worst of it on without noticing.
Low-trust leaders don't create low-trust teams on purpose.
I agree @John Brewton ! I think of it like an Oedipus Rex scenario - The very actions we take to avoid a situation of low trust can take us there eventually.
There’s some level of ‘letting go’ and meta cognition involved in being able to steer towards a environment where trust grows organically. Pausing, reflecting, intentionally showing up with our best EQ skills every day…, these are all part and parcel of slowly creating such an environment.
That’s part of what makes it harder to spot in yourself. Very few leaders are trying to create that kind of team. It usually happens in the smaller reactions they stop noticing.
There’s an important distinction to be mage here, there’s trust -is it sake to speak up -psychological safety. And the trustworthiness of the leader. It’s always best to be clear about which you are speaking.
Good morning Andrew! :) Well pointed out.
I would completely agree that you can't have one without the other over time. A leaders who creates a psychologically unsafe environment will not be seen as a trustworthy person. Similarly, a low trust leader in a high psychologically safe environment will erode that safety over time due to their actions.
I think we can agree "As the ruler, so the people." Trust is a broad term and really we mean both.
Excellent Dan!
Yes, that’s fair. Those are slightly different things, even if they feed each other.
A leader can talk about openness all day, but if people don’t trust how that leader reacts, the room still closes.
Excuse typos
Trust can we measured here: https://tally.so/r/5B1dVP
Love the insight about note taking - I have fallen off the habit of note taking recently and I think you are right. It adds an artificial 5dec delay into one’s response.
I’d add however that trust builds around a leaders ability to make themselves smaller in service of the team / objective. And by smaller I mean prioritise team / objective vs personal gain. That is a predictable and repeatable way of working that provides stability and boosts trust
Amen Daphne. I purposefully buy overpriced pens and notebooks so I enjoy taking notes more. Lately I've been on a pencil kick. Did you know they make mechanical pencils that automatically rotate the lead so you always get a clean line? We're int he future and the future is now. I usually use AI to put my notes into a digital vault. Claude + Obsidian. This makes everything searchable and index-able so I get more value than just the pause and just the act of taking the note itself.
Also, great addition. We talk about trust being top down. And that's true if we follow the lines of the traditional org chart. But leadership is bottom up. We're at the bottom. Serving our people who serve the mission. We're here for them, not the other way around. And that re-frame changes everything about what the world has taught us about what it means to be a leader. Say it louder for the people in the back, Daphne! :)
That’s a really good addition, Daphne.
Making yourself smaller in service of the team is a big part of it.
People can feel very quickly whether the leader is protecting the work or protecting themselves.
Trust 📉 Trusted 📉 Team Performance 📉 Peer Teams Respect 📉 Company Performance 📉 Your Future 📉
The note-taking detail is exactly the kind of small habit that separates good advice from good practice, and a 2025 report finding that 1 in 4 employees still don't feel psychologically safe at work suggests most teams are still operating in that constant low-level edit mode you describe. People take their cues from the last time someone got punished for raising a problem: the intranet values poster rarely comes into it. What's the toughest default reaction you've personally had to work on?